10 Tasks For My Imaginary Personal Assistants.

Tonight I was going to write a post about It’s a Small World being the most under appreciated and over-complained about attraction at Disneyland, and I was going to add plenty of photos. An hour later, I’m exasperated, as my photo albums are a frightful mess! I only found a few that I wanted to use, and I know there are more, and I absolutely refuse… refuuuuse… to make that post without those ones that strayed off. So maybe tomorrow?

Instead, I’ll go with a NaBloPoMo November 2015 PromptIf you had a personal assistant who would do your most dreaded tasks, which items from your to-do list would you assign out?


I guess that’s #1. Shall I make a list? Okay. I’ll do 10.

#2. I would also have that assistant hire some more assistants. Because I need a lot of assistance.

#3. Assistant #2 would wash the inside of my windshield. Because no matter how clean I think I’m making that thing, I can still swipe my finger across the surface and make a finger-width trail of clean glass. And it pisses me off.

#4. Assistants #’s 3-14 would organize my craft space.

#5. Assistant #15 would read all of the books I bought, but don’t have time to read. He (yes, he) would summarize each book for me at bedtime [insert cuddling] after making me double-strength hot cocoa with whipped cream.

#6. Assistants #16, #17, #18, and #19 would remain permanently in character to amuse me: Peter Sellers, Mark Twain, Steve Buscemi, and Michael Cera.

#7. Assistant #20 would pee for me 12-13 times per day as I guzzled bottomless Irish coffee continuously made fresh for me by Assistant #21.

#8. Assistant #22 would hold his breath to run in and flush the toilets that my boys “forgot” to flush. And then he would spray something that wouldn’t make it smell like poop + spray.

#9. Assistant #23 would follow me and my social companions around to smack down phones, headphones, and any other devices that prevent us from communicating in person.

And, finally…

#10. Assistant #24 would just hang out with me and give me endless ideas of lists to write, because writing lists is fun as hell.

Good night.


  1. Michelle says:

    Hilarious. Loved it. Now I need to make a list. And get some assistants. Or could I just borrow your #2 and #15 assistants. Very useful fellows. I am sure my hubby wouldn’t mind having #15 in bed because hubby would get hot cocoa. Not mine, his own – who shares hot cocoa. sheesh.

  2. oKatniss
    oKatniss says:

    I’ll let you borrow assistant #2, but assistant #15 is mine. #2 is pretty good at finding #15’s though, so your cocoa in bed dream could totally become a reality.

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